Welcome to the first episode of Season 5 of Changes Big and Small. This season, we’re focusing on joy—a topic that’s been standing out to me lately. I chose joy because I’ve noticed a growing interest in understanding joy and how it differs from happiness. This curiosity sparked the theme for our new season.
Just last week, I went out for churrasco with a friend and her 12-year-old daughter. I suggested we try something fun. I said to the tween, let’s aim to have 10% more joy during dinner. We were dancing and singing to the music, laughing until our cheeks hurt. We were fully present, swept up in the joy of that moment.
This got me thinking about all the missed opportunities for joy. So what is joy really, and what makes it so powerful? In this season, we’re going to explore that together.
Joy is More Than a Moment
Let’s start by breaking down what we mean by joy. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, joy is:
1 a: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight
b: the expression or exhibition of such emotion : gaiety
2: a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3: a source or cause of delight
But joy is more than just that fleeting sense of happiness; it’s multidimensional.
Psychologists, like Robert Plutchik, consider joy one of the core human emotions. Unlike happiness, which can be a temporary reaction to a good situation, joy often arises from a deeper sense of connection and fulfillment.
So you can see, joy is multidimensional. It can be both a general state of being and an emotion sparked by specific moments. While happiness can feel more external—like a response to something that happens to us—joy can feel more internal, connected to who we are and what we value. For example, happiness might come from getting a promotion, while joy might come from the satisfaction of knowing you’re making a meaningful impact in your work.
Joy in Different Contexts
Curious about how others perceive joy, I spoke with 10 women from different backgrounds— different cultures, races, and beliefs. What they shared with me really opened up the conversation about how we experience joy in our lives.
Some responses were deeply personal, others more universal. Here are some of the things they said are related to joy for them:
- “Everyone is worthy of joy by virtue of being human.”
- “I want to keep taking opportunities and not let fear stop me as I get older.”
- “I want to have a meaningful relationship with my husband as we go into retirement.”
- “I want to keep doing work that matters.”
- “I’m moving more slowly these days, to let the joy in.”
- “I sometimes feel a struggle between making money and doing the things I love.”
- “I want to make time to do more of the things I love, outside of work.”
- “I want more community—people to enjoy life with, more girlfriends.”
- “I want a satisfying, joyful life.”
- “I want to make time for the simple joys of life.”
Two women specifically tied joy to Christianity, describing it as a fruit of the Spirit —something that comes from their faith. I was raised Catholic, and their words brought me back to a song we sang in church: “For the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” It struck me that for some, joy is not just an emotion, but something divinely rooted.
But you don’t need to be religious to experience joy. As those 10 women show, joy is available to all of us, no matter our background or beliefs. It’s a feeling, a state, a way of being that we all deserve to tap into.
What Gets in the Way of Joy?
While joy is something we all deserve, it’s not always easy to access. In my conversations, these same women also shared what holds them back from experiencing joy:
- “I need help prioritizing my goals, dreams, and wishes.”
- “I don’t know how to make money doing what I enjoy.”
- “I don’t get joy from my work anymore.”
- “I feel guilty when I spend time on things I enjoy.”
- “I’m so tired from work that I don’t have the energy to do the things that bring me joy.”
This is where things get really interesting: the obstacles that prevent us from feeling joy often come from external pressures, expectations, and that ever-present voice of self-doubt. How many times have we all felt guilty for taking time to enjoy ourselves, or overwhelmed by the pressures of work that drain our energy?
These are real challenges, but the good news is they’re not insurmountable. Throughout this season, we’ll dive deeper into these barriers and explore ways to overcome them, so you can reclaim joy into your life.
Living Without Regret
Deirdre, a past guest on this podcast??, shared two rules for a meaningful life that made me laugh and think:
- “Don’t die in a foreign country.”
- “Have no regrets.”
Now, I’m not too worried about dying in a foreign country, but that second one—have no regrets—really hits home. Deirdre doesn’t focus on “joy” per se. For her, it’s more about living a life of well-being and satisfaction. That’s no surprise, given that her episode was on following your gut. But isn’t that a form of joy, too, the sense of peace that comes from knowing you’re living in alignment with your values.
I do want to remind you of a question that Deirdre shared, one she uses to guide her actions: “Am I doing what I want to do?”
Creating the Conditions for Joy
I find it interesting how some people consider joy important and actually plan or schedule for it, while others leave it to chance. Or they experience joy while never thinking of the concept itself. This makes me think of the quote from Valerie Kaur, in a recent interview with Brené Brown. Valerie said:
“The thing about joy is that you can’t force it. You can only create the conditions to invite it to come.” – Valerie Kaur
I’ve been thinking a lot about that. How do we create the conditions for joy? You might not always be able to control when or how it shows up, but you can make space for it in your life. When Valerie went on to explain how joy shows up, her words vibrated within me, and I needed to listen again and again, to make note of them:
“The moment might sweep you off your feet. You might get a taste of that oneness, and then come down able to see with the eyes of a sage, the heart of a warrior.” – Valerie Kaur
Thank of that imagery. Imagine the feelings, the taste, the sight. That idea of being swept off your feet by joy has stayed with me. It’s what we’re exploring this season—how we can create the conditions for joy in our everyday lives, no matter the challenges we face.
Invitation
What is one thing that brings you joy? How can you create conditions in your life to allow experiences of joy?
Conclusion
In this season of Changes Big and Small, we’ll be exploring joy from different angles—personal, professional, and even cultural. We’ll talk about the specific practices that help people cultivate joy, and the challenges that make it difficult to hold onto. We’ll also hear from more women and experts who have unique perspectives on joy.
Take a moment this week to reflect on this episode, and if you have a story about a time when you were swept off your feet by joy, I’d love to hear it. Send me DM wherever we’re connected (links at changesbigandsmall.com), a voice note or an email at contact@changesbigandsmall.com. I’d love to share your story with our listeners in a future episode.
I’ll be honest, I don’t have a grand plan yet. I got inspired for this topic after not knowing what was next for the podcast for several months, so I’m trusting the process.
Next week, we’ll dive into how personal growth can be a gateway to experiencing more joy in your life.
You can connect with Damianne on the Changes BIG and small website, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. You’re also invited to join the Changes BIG and small Facebook community.
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Credits
- Theme music by Rafael Krux. Inspiration on freepd.com. License: CC0
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