In this episode, we’re diving into the concept of a growth mindset, a way of thinking that can help you embrace midlife as a time of reinvention, curiosity, and joy. Together, we’ll explore what a growth mindset is, why it matters so much right now, and, most importantly, how you can start cultivating it in practical ways.
What is a Growth Mindset?
First, let’s define what we mean by a growth mindset. According to psychologist Carol Dweck, who coined the term, a growth mindset is the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, learning, and effort. It’s the opposite of a fixed mindset, which is the belief that our qualities are set in stone.
Your mindset shapes your thoughts, actions, and your results. So your mindset, fixed or growth, affects how you respond to opportunities and challenges in life, and how you frame the story of these experiences. So when you develop a growth mindset, you’re opening yourself up to new possibilities and new experiences that you didn’t previously know were open to you.
When we say someone has a growth mindset, we mean they believe they can improve, change, and grow in their skills and abilities. This doesn’t mean they never face challenges or setbacks, but rather that they see these as opportunities to learn and grow rather than proof of failure or inadequacy.
For instance, imagine two people learning to play the piano in their 50s. The person with a fixed mindset might say, “I’m too old to learn an instrument,” while the person with a growth mindset would think, “This is a great opportunity to challenge myself and develop a new skill.” The growth mindset individual is more likely to persist through challenges and ultimately succeed.
Take a moment and ask yourself: When you face something difficult, do you think, ‘I can learn this,’ or, ‘I’ll never get it right’? This can reveal a lot about whether you’re using a growth or fixed mindset.
Let’s use a more concrete example. How did you respond to the exercises I shared last week for addressing limiting beliefs? Did you view them as an opportunity or immediately think you can’t change your thoughts? So did you approach my invitation with a growth or fixed mindset? Adopting a growth mindset, especially if you’ve been in a fixed mindset for much of your life, takes time, self-compassion, and practice. But it is worth the effort, especially in midlife.
Why is a Growth Mindset Important in Midlife?
In midlife, you’re no longer the person that you used to be. One approach is to be rigid and stick to the definition of who you’ve been up to this point or stuck in routines and beliefs that don’t serve you anymore. But midlife can also be a powerful season of reinvention.
Midlife is a time when we get to ask, ‘What’s next for me?’ We have the freedom to redefine joy and success on our own terms. Adopting a growth mindset now can open new doors and deepen self-discovery, just when you might need it most. Think about it—what area of your life would you most like to grow in right now?
When you adopt a growth mindset, you open yourself to lifelong learning, and that brings a new level of joy and resilience. Instead of seeing your age as a barrier, you can start to see it as an advantage. You have the wisdom of experience and the courage to try new things, maybe taking up a new hobby, learning a new skill, or simply challenging yourself to think differently.
How to Cultivate a Growth Mindset
Let’s dive into five practical ways you can build a growth mindset to help you build the life that you want.
1. Embrace Challenges and New Experiences
With a growth mindset, you’re more likely to try new things, and each new experience helps reinforce and grow that mindset. A growth mindset flourishes in environments where you are constantly learning and trying new things. Remember that small, consistent changes make a big impact. No one’s telling you to go bungee jumping or jump from a plane, but of course, you can try those too. But if those are scary, start with something small, like trying a new recipe, signing up for a class, or reading about a topic that you know nothing about and that interests you. Even small challenges allow you to step outside your comfort zone and develop new skills, building your resilience and adaptability. Rather than avoiding tasks that seem difficult, use them to broaden your experiences.
Think about something new you’ve been curious about but hesitant to attempt, perhaps cooking, writing, or learning a new language. Can you approach it with a playful, exploratory mindset? Instead of ‘I don’t know how,’ try thinking, ‘Let’s see what I discover.’ Document your experience and reflect on how it feels to step out of your comfort zone.
2. Learn from Criticism
Oof, this is a tough one for many of us. Criticism can remind us of some of the worst experiences of our life, make us feel inferior or deficient in some way. But learning to see constructive criticism as valuable feedback, rather than a personal attack, is a cornerstone of a growth mindset. When you reframe criticism as an opportunity for growth, it lets you be curious enough to see what’s useful from the criticism and get insight about yourself and others. Instead of focusing on your discomfort, try to find the actionable takeaway in each piece of feedback.
The next time you receive feedback, thank the person giving you feedback. Then, take a deep breath and ask yourself: ‘What’s one thing I can take from this to get a bit closer to my goals?’ Keep it simple—find one helpful point that moves you forward. Write down an action step based on that point, and practice it for a week to benefit from the feedback.
3. Find Lessons in Others’ Success
This is part of the reason I started this podcast. I noticed that some people were inspired by my life, and that seeing what others achieved opened my eyes to new opportunities. Observing and learning from the successes of others can be a tremendous source of inspiration. Rather than feeling intimidated or discouraged, see their achievements as proof of what’s possible for you, too. Success stories can offer valuable insights, strategies, and motivation to help you dream and achieve the life you want.
The next time you see someone succeeding in an area where you want to improve, take a moment to reflect. Imagine them as a potential guide rather than someone who is extraordinary or a competitor. Instead of thinking, “I could never do that,” ask yourself, “What can I learn from their journey?” Think about one or two things you admire about their approach, and consider how you might apply these elements in your own life.
For example, if you admire a colleague’s presentation skills, instead of feeling intimidated, analyze what makes their presentations effective. Is it their use of storytelling? Their clear structure? Their engaging visuals? Identify one specific technique you can adapt and implement in your next presentation.
4. Embrace the Power of “Yet”
I remember first learning about this. I had a colleague who would add yet any time a student said “I don’t know how to ” whatever it was. I was attracted to that idea because I believe in learning and change.
Adding the word “yet” to limiting thoughts is a small but transformative tool for building a growth mindset. When you say, “I’m not good at this yet,” you remind yourself that growth and learning are continuous and that skills can develop over time. You also acknowledge your capabilities and this mindset shift keeps you open to possibility.
The word yet keeps the door open for change and progress and reminds us that our current state is not final. What is one thing in your life right now that you might be struggling with or feel limited by? Try adding yet to that thought, and see how it shifts your perspective. You’re reminding yourself that growth is possible.
5. Celebrate the Process, Not Just the Outcome
We’ve talked about celebration before and how important it is in habit building. Focusing solely on the end result can lead to frustration, especially when the journey is long. That is discouraging and leads to many abandoned goals. A growth mindset encourages us to celebrate small wins and progress along the way. This helps to build resilience and keeps us motivated, no matter the outcome. By recognizing and appreciating your efforts, you reinforce a positive, growth-oriented attitude.
What’s something that you’re working on right now? Create a Progress Jar. Every time you make a small step towards your goal, write it on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. At the end of the month, or whenever you need a reminder, read through your progress slips. This visual representation of your journey will help you appreciate the process and stay motivated.
Reframing Failure as Growth
Let’s talk about reframing failure. When we fail, it’s easy to think, ‘I’m just not cut out for this.’ But growth mindset thinking reminds us that every ‘failure’ is just part of the learning process. Maybe you’re learning to paint, write, or even just trying a new routine. Instead of letting mistakes discourage you, ask yourself: ‘What’s one thing I learned today that I didn’t know before?’ Each lesson brings you closer to where you want to be.
Let’s look at a real-life example to see this concept in action. Susan had always wanted to learn how to paint, but she hesitated, thinking, “I’ve never been an artist; I’ll just embarrass myself.” Her fixed mindset was stopping her from pursuing an interest.
One day, Susan decided to give it a try. She signed up for a local beginner’s painting class and immediately felt out of her depth—her first few paintings were, in her words, “disasters.” She wanted to give up, but instead of letting this experience confirm her doubts, Susan started to see each session as a learning opportunity. She asked herself what she could improve on, listened to her instructor’s advice, and allowed herself to be a beginner.
By shifting her perspective, she not only improved her painting skills over time but also discovered a deep sense of joy in learning something new. Susan realized that each “failure” was simply part of her growth, and her resilience grew along with her skills.
Do you have an example of that in your own life? I do, right now. I don’t know how to swim yet. But I’m taking classes. I used to think that I couldn’t float, that my body was incapable of floating. Can you imagine, that something a lot of bodies do, I think mine is incapable. But I am taking swimming classes and I approach them with curiosity. And guess what, I can float. I’m still afraid of running out of breath and I don’t like it when water goes over my face in a back float but I know that someday, it won’t bother me at all.
Think about a recent “failure” you experienced and list three specific things you learned from that experience. How can you apply these lessons to future challenges?
How Do I Overcome Self-Doubt?
But what if you keep getting bogged down by self-doubt? Let’s talk about how to address that.
Many people can relate to self-doubt. I certainly can: Will I be able to help my students learn? Can I learn enough Czech to get permanent residence in the Czech Republic? Those are just two of mine. Self-doubt is natural, especially when we’re stepping into something unfamiliar. One way to approach it is to think of self-doubt as a natural part of the learning process, not as a signal to stop. (This bears repeating)
When you feel self-doubt, try reframing it as curiosity. Reframing doubt as curiosity can help ease the anxiety that doubt often brings. I often remind myself that fear and excitement feel very similar and we often stop with acknowledging the fear but not the excitement. So instead of thinking, “I don’t know if I can do this,” ask yourself, “What can I learn from this? What might I discover about myself? What exciting things could happen if I give this a try?” to generate excitement. Or maybe you already know. For example, I can tell myself that in 6 months, I’ll be able to swim in the infinity pool at the fancy hotel on my upcoming holiday. That excitement is real, along with the fear of not being able to learn to swim. Self-doubt often arises because we’re pushing past our comfort zones, which is actually a sign of growth. And while it’s not motivating, we can also tap into a more motivating emotion that is also present.
Here’s a short visualization exercise for you to do. After you listen to the instructions, set your timer for 5 minutes and pause the podcast.
What’s one challenge that you’re having right now? Close your eyes and imagine your future self who has overcome the current challenge. What advice would this confident, accomplished version of you give to your present self? Write down this advice and refer to it when self-doubt creeps in.
Creating a Joyful Learning Journey
Using a helpful emotion is an example of how you can make lifelong learning joyful. We have myriad emotions that we go through each day, and some of them are helpful in growth mindset, so feel free to use them. And if you need help with that, reach out to me. I’d love the opportunity to be your coach and you can learn more at changesbigandsmall.com/coaching.
Remember that growth and learning aren’t only about tackling big challenges. It’s also about savoring the process, finding joy in curiosity, and being gentle with yourself along the way. One of the keys to a joyful growth mindset is to detach from the outcome and instead appreciate the experience.
Ask yourself, “What would learning look like if I approached it with a sense of play?” or my favorite after I heard in in a course “How can this be 10% more fun”? And another “What would this look like if it was easy?” Maybe it’s playing your favorite music while you work, rewarding yourself with a small treat after completing a difficult section, or partnering with a friend for accountability and fun. Experiment with different approaches to find what works best for you.
These are just some examples of the questions and answers that can help you to rediscover joy and curiosity, which are essential elements of a growth mindset. Approach your goals as a series of small experiments, each one giving you insight and growth, regardless of the outcome.
Remember that growth can take time and require patience. Many of us tend to be hard on ourselves when we’re not progressing as quickly as we’d like. But cultivating a growth mindset also means learning to trust the process and being kind to yourself along the way.
Invitation
My invitation to you this week is to experiment with adopting a growth mindset. Start small: Pick one area where you’d like to grow, and try one of the techniques we discussed earlier in the episode. Maybe it’s adding ‘yet’ to a limiting belief, or exploring how you can make learning a bit more playful.
Remember to be kind to yourself, and focus on progress, not perfection. And as always, I’d love to hear about your journey. What new experiences are you trying? What limiting beliefs are you working to overcome? Reach out to me at contact@changesbigandsmall.com.
Recommended Resources
If you’re interested in diving deeper into the concept of a growth mindset, I highly recommend the following resources:
- Mindset by Carol Dweck: This is the foundational book on the growth mindset and its transformative power in all areas of life.
- The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander: A beautiful book that explores how shifting our perspectives can open up new possibilities and create joy.
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown: A compassionate guide to embracing vulnerability and finding courage in imperfection—a key part of developing a growth mindset.
Conclusion
Thank you for joining me today on Changes Big and Small. Remember, growth is a journey, and each step you take brings new possibilities. Embrace curiosity, keep learning, and let joy be your guide.
In the next episode, we will explore mindfulness practices for everyday joy and stress reduction.
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Credits
- Theme music by Rafael Krux. Inspiration on freepd.com. License: CC0
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