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When we’re well rested, we’re more present, we’re more resilient, and we’re more capable of experiencing life’s pleasures.
Damianne President
Sleep deprivation significantly diminishes our capacity for positive emotions and for joy. And studies show that sleep loss has a large negative effect on positive mood while increasing negative emotions. Really a double whammy.
In fact, people who report poor sleep quality are twice as likely to experience regular nervousness, irritability, and worry compared to those who sleep well. I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine had her parents visit her in Prague. She got really worried about her mom, because her mom kept repeating things and forgetting them. It turned out that she was being affected by a lack of sleep, and the remedy was for her to get some good quality sleep.
I have to admit that when I was younger, I thought sleep was a waste of time. I really wanted to figure out how to minimize my sleep so that I had more time to do things that I really enjoyed. And my family also had little regard for sleep. There were so many other things that my parents considered more important, like waking up to clean on Saturday mornings. And there was no concept of rest really. So I really had to unlearn these habits. And this is especially important to me as I’ve heard and learned so many different studies that correlate dementia to inadequate sleep.
We really have a lot of space in society to improve how we honor rest and sleep that our body needs. And a number of researchers and authors have been talking about the importance of sleep in particular. Still, nearly one third of adults in the U S get fewer than seven hours of sleep a night. And those who report poor mental health sleep nearly an hour less than those with above average mental health, so 6. 3 hours compared to 7. 2 hours. I’ve included all of those stats because I find them quite enlightening.
Today we’ll explore why rest and sleep are fundamental to experiencing joy. The different types of rest we need beyond just sleep, practical strategies for better sleep and rest, and how to build sustainable rest practices that support lasting joy.
So let’s dive in.
Hustle Culture
Modern society has created a culture where being busy is treated as a virtue, while genuine rest is often seen as laziness. This is also very familiar to me from my own childhood and from my upbringing. But this mindset is taking a severe toll on our collective well being and our capacity for joy.
I was thinking about this recently, as I listened to an episode of a podcast, I was listening to the Pivot podcast, and Scott was talking about how Europe doesn’t have a chance of catching up to American innovation. The insinuation was that Europeans just don’t work hard enough while Americans do. And so I’ve been thinking about that a lot, about the cost of human progress. What are we willing to sacrifice individually and collectively in the name of growth? The conversation on Pivot made me think about how we extol overwork and how we really look down on rest and free time. That’s a mindset that I actively have to work against in myself.
For example, I used to feel guilty and sometimes I still do if I take time off on the weekend and I’m not productive enough. And that could be after a full week of work and additional learning and professional activities in the evening as well. So a big part of this for me is having bought into the idea of hustle culture. Social media amplifies this narrative with platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram showing us all of the productive things that we could be doing all the time.
So fear of missing out is real and we can begin to feel like we’re being left behind. The consequences of this mindset are profound. Professionals frequently find themselves trapped in this cycle of sleep deprivation, disrupted eating patterns and chronic stress. Even more concerning, this culture has normalized sleeping less and working more with many wearing the exhaustion of busyness as a badge of honor.
So sometimes you can hear this when you overhear conversations or maybe you’ve even had those conversations with your friend and you are proud of how busy you are. This is really us buying into the idea of hustle culture and that productivity and work are the most important thing and rest is inconsequential or not important at all.
The way we prioritize business is really problematic because there are many hidden costs to sleep deprivation. The impacts of sleep loss on our emotional wellbeing is particularly devastating. Research shows that sleep deprivation significantly impairs our ability to regulate emotions, making us more reactive to negative situations and less likely to appreciate positive ones. That’s a big problem because it can lead us to questioning the meaning of things in our life because we’re looking at the negative elements of it and so we might think that something is not worthwhile just because of that state of mind that we have in the moment. And if you’re constantly looking for negative things, you are going to find them since life is 50, 50.
So to summarize, studies revealed that just one night of poor sleep reduces our capacity for positive emotions, impairs our decision making skills, makes us more prone to anxiety and stress, and diminishes our ability to maintain healthy relationships.
What makes it hard to get rest
Can you think of a period in your life where you were going weeks or days on end with insufficient sleep? Maybe you have a sleep tracker and you constantly have scores in the 60s and 70s. How is this affecting you? I know for me, I need to be intentional about getting off the computer and going to bed.
There are always so many things that I want to do in the evening, and that’s what makes it hard. And I’m sure you have the same problem, right? Like maybe you want some downtime after the kids go to sleep, or you want to finish that project, or you’re reading an exciting book. There are lots of things that we want to do in the evening when we’re off of work.
I would like to finish my book tonight. It’s due back to the library soon and I’ve gotten to a really good part, but I’m going to have to go to sleep instead.
One of the things I’ve noticed is that there are beginning to be more and more conversations about sleep and there are several well known books about the topic as well. But even though there are all of these conversations about rest, many of us still struggle to embrace this concept. The resistance really stems from this deep cultural conditioning that equates productivity with worth.
We’ve been taught from an early age that hard work gets rewarded, leading to an uncomfortable relationship with rest and with relaxation. The rise of digital technology has only intensified this problem. Now we need to deal with FOMO, the fear of missing out, as well, and that keeps us constantly connected. Social media platforms are also designed to keep us scrolling, making it increasingly difficult to disconnect and to truly rest. We have the same problem with on demand television. The programming never stops, and worst, the default is often to autoplay the next episode. I’ve changed the settings in my Netflix profile, but it’s still too easy and captivating to press play on that next episode. We’re pulled into non restful forms of entertainment and endless access to productivity tools.
Many people report feeling guilty during downtime, as I talked about earlier, and we’ve become convinced that we should be doing something more productive when we could just be having a moment of rest, of recovery. Really the effects are detrimental to our health and they create a society where we’re chronically exhausted, yet unable to rest. And this is a pattern that undermines our capacity for joy.
Now let’s explore why understanding different types of rest is crucial for experiencing more joy in our lives. Many of us think that rest is simply sleeping or sitting still, but there are actually multiple types of rest that can help us thrive.
The Four Types of Rest
We’re going to look at four types of rest, physical rest, mental rest, emotional, and creative. First, let’s talk about physical rest. This is the one that’s probably most familiar with you when we talk about rest. And our bodies need two distinct types of physical rest. First, there’s passive rest. This is mostly when we’re sleeping or when we’re napping. And this is what allows our bodies to repair and to restore at the cellular level. Then there’s active rest, like gentle yoga, or stretching, or going for a stroll. And these help us release muscle tension and promote circulation. Both of these types of rests are essential for maintaining our physical well being and our energy levels, because they allow the body time to repair itself and to regulate.
In our hyper connected world, mental rest is also very important. This isn’t just about taking breaks from work. It’s about giving our minds true downtime. Even brief meditation sessions can reduce anxiety and improve focus. For example, spending time in a green space has been proven to significantly lower stress hormone levels. I find exercise to be very helpful for me to get mental rest. When I’m doing a hard workout, my favorite type, all I’m thinking about is the next rep, the next break, my brain is fully present in the moment and I consider that a type of mental rest.
Emotional rest is often overlooked. It involves creating space to process our feelings and to manage our emotional energy. It means setting healthy boundaries, being selective about our social commitments and allowing ourselves time to process emotions rather than pushing them aside. Think of emotional rest as creating a buffer between you and what others want from you.
And the last, creative rest. Creative rest isn’t just for artists, it’s for everyone who uses their mind to evaluate, strategize, or solve problems. This type of rest involves exposing ourselves to beauty, seeking inspiration, and engaging in activities that spark joy without having a focus on purpose. It might mean visiting an art gallery, watching a sunset, or simply allowing yourself to play without having an agenda.
The Importance of Rest
Physical rest is typically what we think of first when we talk about rest. And that’s because we all need to sleep, right? So we can’t really escape physical rest. But sleep does far more for us than just prevent tiredness. In addition to physical rest, it also affects our brain chemistry, our memory processing, and our stress regulation.
So let’s explore some of the different things that happen in our body when we sleep. First, our bodies repair tissues while we sleep. It also strengthens our immune system and it restores our energy levels. This physical renewal directly impacts our resilience and our capacity for joy.
Next, our brains. During quality sleep, our brains regulate neurotransmitters that affect our mood and our emotions. Proper sleep helps balance serotonin and dopamine levels, which are crucial chemicals for experiencing pleasure and satisfaction. We definitely want those neurotransmitters to be regulated.
Our brains also consolidate positive memories and they process negative experiences, which helps us maintain a more balanced emotional perspective.
Last, we’ll talk about hormones. Sleep affects our cortisol, which is our primary stress hormone. When we’re well rested, we’re better equipped to handle any challenges without becoming overwhelmed. There are studies that show that even one night of good sleep can reduce anxiety levels by 30%.
I remember when I used to live in Sudan, I didn’t sleep a lot all those four years because I would stay up late reading. I used to give a colleague a ride to work every morning, and I could not handle her chattiness. I eventually had to share my need for quiet in the morning with her. As I’ve paid attention, I’ve noticed that sleep really affects my mood and my capacity for morning interaction.
Understanding these different types of rest and how sleep enhances joy isn’t just theoretical, it’s a practical knowledge that we can use to transform how we approach our daily lives. When we honor our need for various forms of rest, we create the conditions necessary for joy to flourish, mentally and physically. So now that we understand why rest and sleep are crucial for joy, let’s explore some practical strategies to incorporate more restorative practices in our daily lives.
Strategies for Supporting Rest
First of all, when you want to sleep well, you need to create an environment that supports sleep. And this doesn’t just happen at nighttime, this happens throughout the whole day. One of the podcasts that I like listening to is by Dr. Huberman, and he always talks about getting morning sunlight in your eyes and how that helps to regulate your levels of melatonin and other hormones that affect your ability to sleep at night.
Let’s talk about the three key areas that make a big difference. Let’s start with the environment. Your sleep environment is a very important for helping you fall asleep and also stay asleep. Research shows that having the room temperature between 18 degrees and 20 degrees which is 65 to 68 Fahrenheit, is optimal for sleep. So keep your bedroom dark, quiet and cool. Consider blackout curtains or a white noise machine if you need it. The goal is really to create a space that signals to your body that it’s time to rest.
I never used to worry about having a dark environment for sleep until I tried sleeping with a sleep mask and I noticed that I could actually sleep later in the morning or on a plane, it makes a big difference if I wear a sleep mask or not in terms of how much sleep I’m able to get. When I don’t use a sleep mask, for example, in the summer, I would wake up early with the sun, even though I still felt exhausted. So sleeping with a sleep mask really allowed my body to tune in to its own needs. And that made it easy for me to sleep longer and give my body the rest that it needs.
The second thing to consider is your routine. Our bodies thrive on consistency. We have this 24 hour cycle that we go through every day. And a wind down routine in the evening signals to your brain that it’s time to transition from daytime to nighttime. So this might include having a consistent time that you go to bed and that you wake up. Giving yourself a 30 minute buffer before bed for doing something that calms you, maybe drinking some chamomile tea or reading a book, a paper book, turning off the bright lights, any of those types of things.
It could also be making sure that you don’t have a heavy meal two to three hours before you go to sleep because if your body’s digesting, that also affects your ability to have good quality sleep.
The third thing to consider is a hard one for all of us. I know I struggle with this too, and that’s technology. The light from our screens disrupts our natural sleep wake cycle. So consider setting your phone aside one to two hours before bed. And if you’re not going to do that, then at least use the night mode on your phone. Maybe you can set it up automatically to turn on at sunset, for example.
While most people rest at night, the concept of rest isn’t just for nighttime. Remember that there are three other types of rest that we talked about earlier. And you can incorporate those throughout your day in short breaks.
It’s helpful if you can create some rituals, some habits around this, because then you can do it without even thinking. It becomes easier for you to do them.
Ideas for short rest breaks
Doing just one to five minute short breaks can reset your energy. Maybe that’s deep breathing between meetings, or you could stand and stretch every hour. You could go for a walk around the block or a walk up and down the stairs as you’re changing from one task to another task. Or maybe you can have a brief mindfulness or meditation moment where you just close your eyes and tune in and think about what is happening right now.
If you’re a fan of rituals, then make these short breaks part of your rest ritual. And that means having set times when you would create intentional pauses in your day. In the morning, that could be prayer or a quiet time while you drink a cup of coffee or you look outside before you even get on your devices.
At lunchtime , It could be that you go for a walk, a 10 minute walk, after you’re done eating. Or that you read your book for a few minutes.
In the evening, whatever your wind down practices, it could be very restorative for you. Maybe it’s doing a few minutes of gratitude or just sitting quietly and noticing your feelings.
Really find ways to honor your body’s signals for rest and plan rest breaks. Your routine should work with your natural energy rhythm and you can plan your day to honor the flows of your energy. So how do you feel in the morning? How do you feel in the afternoon? How do you feel in the evening? Schedule your demanding tasks for when you have the most energy and plan rest breaks before you hit a slump.
If you know you usually have an afternoon slump at 1 p. m, what could you do to restore yourself. Does a little walk outside in the sunlight, in the fresh air help you, for example. And then a very important thing to do is to honor your body’s signals for rest. And I have to say that’s the hardest one for me. I tend to want to push through and I still need to find that conditioning of thinking that I’ll sleep later or sleep is not so important.
There’s this terrible saying that you’ll sleep when you’re dead. And yes, that is true, but that really shows how we denigrate sleep. And I would like to invite you to really tune into what your body needs. And make room for rest rather than thinking that it’s not important right now.
So take a moment to reflect. What do you find most difficult when it comes to rest? Is it creating time for rest? Is it integrating it into your daily routines? Is it managing your energy throughout the day or throughout the week? Reflect on one thing that you can do to honor your body’s need for rest.
Building sustainable practices
The key to making rest a regular part of your life starts with giving yourself permission to rest without guilt. This is often the hardest part of the journey. Many of us need to internalize that rest itself is productive, that taking breaks actually increase our overall efficiency, and that recovery is essential for performance.
I remember when I first started practicing intentional rest, I would feel so bored doing a meditation. I used to say that meditation doesn’t work for me because I would watch my brain go in all different directions. Then I learned that meditation isn’t about controlling my brain, but observing it, noticing it. It’s also about breathing slowly and counting my breaths. Those two realizations allowed me to access meditation in a way I hadn’t been able to do it before. Letting my brain have free reign also gives it the chance to be more creative, to allow things to come up, and I get to be a witness to what, like the wonder of my brain and how creative it can be and what can come up for it.
It’s very interesting to see the things that come up. Sometimes they’re helpful, sometimes they’re inspiring, sometimes they’re not. It like there, there’s the whole gamut, right? But what I notice is that creating room for this kind of rest gives me access to even more creativity than before.
Setting boundaries is also crucial for protecting your rest time. This means learning to communicate your needs clearly to others, whether that’s telling colleagues you won’t be available after certain hours, or letting family know when you need quiet time. There have been times in my life when I’ve been overwhelmed, and the bathroom was the escape for five minutes.
You can also create a buffer time between activities to give yourself space to decompress and to transition. And that allows you to prevent the exhaustion that comes from rushing from one thing to the next.
Progress tracking can be very useful for understanding how different rest practices affect your joy levels. Pay attention so that you can notice what restores you, what enriches you and what depletes you. You don’t need to keep elaborate logs, but just feel free to jot down some notes. And if you need reminders, you can set it on your phone. Pay attention to your energy levels and mood after different types of rest.
This awareness is really important to help you identify which rest practices work for you, and then you’ll be able to access those when you need them the most. The goal really isn’t perfection, and this is something that I say often in these episodes. The goal isn’t perfection, but it’s really about building a sustainable practice.
Start with one small step and add on as you’re ready. Approaching it in this way will help you find successes and whenever we have a success that motivates us to keep going. It will also help you approach change in a way that’s s more sustainable, in a way that is more energizing and that you can maintain for a longer period of time, and that’s important because we’re doing this for our well being.
And when we’re well rested, we’re more present, we’re more resilient, and we’re more capable of experiencing life’s pleasures. So now it’s my time for inviting you to take action this week.
Share Your Experience
If you have a story to share about joy and whether joy lets you access creative pursuits or whether you get joy from creative pursuits, then send me a message wherever you’re following me or through the contact page on this website. On the home page, you’ll also see a Speakpipe link where you can send me a voice message.
Your Practice Invitation
Get in Touch
You can connect with Damianne on the Changes BIG and small website, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. You’re also invited to join the Changes BIG and small Facebook community.
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Timeline of the Chat
[00:00] Introduction: Joy During Life’s Challenges
[02:22] Exploring Different Types of Challenges
[07:47] Strategies for Maintaining Joy
[13:08] Energy Management for Sustaining Joy
[19:34] Daily Joy Practices
[24:59] Celebrating Progress and Finding Purpose
[27:36] Invitation/Challenge
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Credits
- Theme music by Rafael Krux. Inspiration on freepd.com. License: CC0
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