Introduction
In this episode, we explore ways that you can recognize opportunities for joy in your life and strategies for a happy life. Joy and happiness in your life are essential aspects of being a good friend to yourself. Just as a friend would encourage you to pursue what makes you happy and support you in your journey towards joy, self-friendship involves recognizing and fostering your own sources of happiness.
So far, we’ve looked at the essence of self-friendship, learning to be a best friend to ourselves. But just as a true friend celebrates your happiness, your self-friendship should foster and cherish your joy.
Happiness, much like friendship, is a deeply personal experience, one that we can design and cultivate. As we journey through today’s episode, we’ll explore the topic of happiness and how to have more of it in our friendship life.
Understanding Happiness
There has been much discussion about the meaning of happiness in philosophical conversations. However, Positive psychology often refers to happiness as “subjective well-being” (SWB), which can be seen as a state characterized by contentment and general satisfaction with one’s current situation.
In the realm of positive psychology, happiness has been approached in three main ways: as a global assessment of life, a recollection of past emotional experiences, and an aggregation of multiple emotional reactions over time. These perspectives offer us a multi-dimensional view of happiness, emphasizing that it’s a complex, deeply personal experience that encompasses more than just fleeting moments of joy.
For the purpose of this episode, I’m using happiness as a synonym for well-being. You may be familiar with this idea if you listen to The Happiness Lab with Laurie Santos. In the podcast and her course “The Science of Well-Being,” Santos explores what makes us happy, including challenging our misunderstandings and misconceptions about them. The course is freely available and I recommend it.
It’s important to distinguish happiness from pleasure. While pleasure is a transient, sensory-based experience, happiness is considered a more stable state that generally lasts longer than momentary pleasure. In fact, momentary pleasure is not even necessary.
Understanding happiness in the context of well-being invites us to delve deeper than the surface-level joys and to examine the roots of lasting contentment. It’s about the state of our lives as a whole, not just transient emotions. Santos guides us through the process of redefining happiness by identifying the factors that genuinely contribute to our well-being.
The pursuit of happiness, as Santos outlines, is often hampered by our cognitive biases and cultural narratives that mislead us about the sources of true happiness. It’s by recognizing and overcoming these barriers, by learning and applying the principles of positive psychology, that we can begin to align our lives with the practices that science shows to be beneficial.
In essence, understanding happiness is a journey of unlearning as much as it is of learning. It’s about peeling back the layers to uncover what will truly serve our well-being in the long run. This exploration is an invitation to each of us to become students of our own happiness, to engage with life as an active participant in the crafting of our well-being. So, as we continue, let’s challenge ourselves to embrace this broader, richer understanding of happiness, carrying forward the insights that Laurie Santos and others offer, to design a life filled with genuine, enduring well-being.
I’ll get into some strategies for joyful living next. But first, I’d like to invite you to think about what happiness means to you. Pause the episode if you need to.
Strategies for Joyful Living
Joyful living is about curating a life that resonates with our deepest values and desires. It’s about aligning our daily actions with what gives us a sense of purpose and fulfillment. We’ll look at three strategies in this segment.
One strategy is to start each day by setting an intention that reflects your definition of happiness. Whether it’s seeking connection, experiencing new things, or finding moments of tranquility, let this intention be your guide.
Another powerful strategy is cultivating gratitude. Take time each day to reflect on the aspects of your life that bring you joy and fulfillment. This could be through journaling, meditation, or simply taking a moment to acknowledge these blessings and feel thankful.
Additionally, create spaces in your life for activities that make you feel alive. It could be as simple as a hobby that challenges you, an exercise that energizes you, or a social interaction that uplifts you. These are not mere pastimes; they are nourishment for your soul.
Remember, strategies for joyful living are not one-off events but habits woven into the fabric of our daily lives. This is a recurring theme. They require practice and perseverance, and most importantly, a belief that you are worthy of happiness.
The main takeaway I want to leave you with is that designing a life of happiness is within your power. It’s a conscious choice, a deliberate creation, and a celebration of life in its fullest form.
Happiness in Routine
If happiness is our destination, then routine is the path we walk every day. Embedding happiness into our daily routines isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the small choices that, over time, shape a life rich with joy.
Consider the morning: perhaps you start your day with a mindfulness practice, tuning into the sensations of the present moment, or maybe it’s a vibrant dance to your favorite song that sets the tone for the day. This intentional act of starting with positivity can ripple throughout your hours.
And what about midday routines? A lunchtime walk under the open sky can be a moment of reconnection with nature, a chance to breathe deeply and recalibrate.
As evening falls, routines like reflecting on the day’s successes or planning for tomorrow’s joys allow us to end our day with a sense of accomplishment and anticipation.
Over time, routines become rituals — sacred acts of self-care that celebrate and elevate our daily experience. They remind us that happiness isn’t a fleeting experience but a state that is nurtured in multiple moments every day. It’s about going beyond tasks ad todos but getting into a flow that lets us live a life of alignment with our deepest values.
Overcoming Happiness Obstacles
As we try to generate more happiness in our lives, we may face obstacles. It’s in these moments that our resolve is truly tested. But remember, each obstacle is an opportunity to grow stronger in developing more joy in our lives.
For those times when life’s demands seem to crowd out happiness, prioritize. Even if you have a busy schedule, it’s important to make room for moments of joy, even if they are brief. Look for the pockets of time that are often overlooked, like the quiet of an early morning or the peace of late-night stillness. When you can feel a sense of deep peace and comfort with yourself, this is a moment of happiness.
And on those days when happiness seems like a distant memory, practice resilience. Reflect on past triumphs, no matter how small, and let them remind you of your worth so you can find your way back to a happier state.
As we navigate these obstacles, let’s do so with the understanding that they are a completely normal part of the experience of life. But being happy, that deep sense of well-being, is always available for you. It’s a deeper state of being that transcends obstacles.
Invitation/Challenge
I invite you to join me in a simple yet profound challenge for the upcoming week: the Joyful Moments Diary. Each day, take a few minutes to write down at least one moment where you felt a spark of joy. It could be as brief as the warmth of the sun on your face, a kind word from a stranger, or the satisfaction of a task completed.
This diary will become your personal collage of happiness, a reminder of the bright spots that exist in every day.
Share these moments with us in the community, on social media, or send them in an email. Let’s inspire each other with our collective snapshots of joy.
Listener Question
How do I deal with the guilt of prioritizing my wellness in a culture that often values productivity over personal health?
Dealing with guilt from prioritizing wellness can be challenging, especially in a culture that often prizes busyness as a badge of honor. Remember that taking care of your well-being isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Here are some steps to help alleviate that guilt:
- Reframe Your Perspective: If it helps, consider wellness as an investment in your productivity. When you’re well-rested and healthy, you’re likely to perform better in all areas of life.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Define your non-negotiables for wellness and communicate them clearly to those around you, whether at work or at home.
- Start Small: Incorporate short wellness activities that don’t take much time but have a significant impact, like a 10-minute meditation or a brief walk.
- Educate Yourself and Others: Understanding the benefits of wellness can help you and others see its value. Share what you learn about the importance of wellness for long-term health and productivity.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize that everything you do has a purpose. It’s okay to not meet every demand placed upon you if it means maintaining your health.
By taking these steps, you’re not just enhancing your own life; you’re also setting a positive example for others to follow. Prioritizing your wellness is a responsible choice for yourself and for those who depend on you.
Conclusion
As we bring this episode to a close, let’s hold onto the idea that happiness—our inner joy—is something we can shape and foster through acts of self-friendship and mindfulness in our everyday lives.
In the next episode, we’ll delve into the ways our internal conversations shape our reality and how, by tuning into and refining this dialogue, we can unlock a new level of personal power and transformation.
You can connect with Damianne on the Changes BIG and small website, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube. You’re also invited to join the Changes BIG and small Facebook community.
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Credits
- Theme music by Rafael Krux. Inspiration on freepd.com. License: CC0
- Cover art Photo by Madison Oren on Unsplash
- Script edited by ChatGPT
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